Rambles of a Mad Woman

"Say good-bye to lumpy, icy snowballs and soggy mittens.  This 14"-long plastic wonder tool lightly packs the snow into perfect orbs that fly far and explode spectacularly (and safely) on contact. Sold in a set of two to facilitate proper snowball fights." --$20.00 (Restorations Hardware) 

Ah... promoting violence in a soft wet form to the next generation. 

HAHAHAHAHA!!! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!  HOHOHOHOHOHO!!!

Pulled out a pack of Dentyne Ice gum (Yes Sarah, I do know that gum is bad for my TMJ but I needed it) and while taking the wraper off the gum noticed some of those little cute sayings that they put on packages to catch a person's attention.  (Hey, it worked didn't it?)

It said "Dentyne-ism #163: If a candy bar says "NOW with real chocolate" what were you eating before?"

I have to say, that's a very good question that's likely to plague me for the rest of the day.  Should I thank or curse Dantyne now?

So, I did my first "Shut-In" weekend where the plan was to stay in the apt. all weekend and do nothing but eat, sleep and write.  Simple plan, yes?  Not so easy to carry out though.  (One would think it should be pretty brainless but seriously, the thought of the whole do nothing but write was a little too daunting.)

Friday evening: came home, made dinner (cannot remember what I ate or even if I did eat) set up the laptop in the living room and lit a candle.  Stared blankly at laptop for thirty minutes trying the figure out what the hell I was suppose to do before giving up and getting ice cream.  (Nothing like ice cream to cure writer's block... or give you a headache.)  Turned on the music to drown out my noisy neighbors with their clattering dishes, (seriously these people need to learn that slamming your cupboards shut isn't necessary to close them).  Turned back to my computer and cranked out a chapter of fan fiction that wasn't necessary interesting but at least go me writing again.

Saturday morning, woke up with the smell of coffee!  (Did I mention how much I love my programmable coffee maker?)  Had coffee with news paper and was sitting around all relaxed, happy and trying to decide if I want to attempt to make breakfast.  Sarah came home from her wild night with conversative lawyers (Mira's company Christmas party).  We lazed around for a bit.  Sarah said that she needed to go to the mall for an hour... and I needed food since our frig was quite bare.  (Really, I should have anticipated needing to eat when I decided to do this shut-in..)  So off the the mall we go... had lovely hotdogs-on-a-stick (Sarah had cheese) and got all the things Sarah needed for her company party that evening in under an hour.  Great!  Perfect!  Right on schedule!  Four hours later, we finally left the mall with a brand new Christmas outfit for Sarah (You people need to see this outfit!) and a cute bag and necklace for me.  We blew the afternoon (not to mention our budgets) at the mall.  Sarah rushed through her preparations for the evening (I got to watch the master at work) and I was busy being distracted by everything else but the story in front of me.  Sarah ran off to her party and I started to have a sinking feeling while completing an outline for a new story that had nothing to do with the old one that I was desperately trying to finish.  I suck at this game.

Sunday morning, slept in late and felt bed about it.  Sarah and I realized that we still have no food in the apt. that isn't frozen and dinner styled.  We went to Marie Calendars and bitched about things... a very productive morning actually.  Came back to realize that it was nearly noon already.  Sarah baked for her father's dinner that evening and I... wrote things that I didn't particularly find interesting.  We listened to the Rent movie soundtrack and decided that we enjoyed it greatly.  (I purposely turned it up louder than necessary in hopes of annoying the neighbors.  I know, I'm a bad person.)  Sarah left and I wrote some more... it wasn't particularly good but I now know that biggest problem I have with writing... I can't finish anything I actually started.  (sigh)  But at least I have a lot of fun doing it while I'm in the middle of it.  That counts for something, right?  I took a break and went to Trader Joe's in the afternoon and bought food for the week.  It was quite productive though a bit expensive.  (sigh)  But I found a good tamale thingy that I want to try, so all is well as long as my belly is full.   Sarah came home with a cold which she blames on me and someone named Lily.  (She's refusing to blame it on the two nights where she was out until one or two in the morning.)  I slepted like the dead.

So... back at work and things are busy... as usual.  But at least I'm getting a few moments to update this damn journal... which I haven't been able to do in weeks.  So... all is good.  I'm going to sneak a little time today and do some more writing at work even though I'm really not suppose to.  Oh well....

Next Shut-In is in mid-January! (I'll stock up on food this time... if I remember to.) 

So... here I am, being all busy bee-like, just doing my job and silently going insane with all the work that seem to converge upon me all at the same time.  Send out a document to be filed with the Federal Court... an hour later the messenger company calls me to tell me that my messenger got hit by a car! 

Me: OH MY GOD!!!  Is she okay? 

Them:  Don't worry, we have someone going to the hospital to pick up your documents from her to be filed. 

Me: Oh well, that's good to know. 

Them: Your stuff will get filed.

Me:  Well that's nice but is she all right?"

Them: Oh sure, she'll be okay.

Me: Oh good, send her my best.

Them: Sure.

(hangs up phone)

Me: Oh god, she got ran over because I sent her out on a job! (me crying under the table)

Oh, I just cannot win today.

So recently, the firm has been cleaning house by getting rid of the incompetent people they've been holding onto for a while now.  So the firing of temps, part-timers and a few full fledged employees that thought they'd be around for a while commenced end of last week.  They let go a total of 6 people, not counting the temps that were just asked not to come back.  To say that it's not great for the morale around here... well.... yeah.

I had wanted time off, asked for time off so I can go up North, but I cannot find anyone to cover my desk that actually knows what they're doing.  (No, I don't want a idiot monkey sitting here and messing with my files... enough of that already.)  So... it's a no go on the SF trip this weekend like I had hoped.  (Five freaking days of kicking around the wantingness of it and not a goal to be have... sorry, we've been discussing soccer around here lately.) 

I'm sad and disappointed.  And I want a donut.  Suddenly really want a donut.  (sigh) 

I woke up this morning feeling cold and... well, just plain cold.  I hadn't yet gotten any of my winter clothes out of storage so I was pretty much going resigned to suffer through the day poorly dressed for the very un-LA-like weather we're currently experiencing.  Went to my parent's house for breakfast and to pick up mom (I'm getting fed, so it's all go) and found an old scarf... liked it very much.  And so... I'm now wearing a dead muppet around my neck.  (Jen, seriously, the phrase if becoming ridiculously useful.)  I'm not kidding, the fuzzy funny scarf is in purple, pink, white and brown fuzzy threads and looks like a limp muppet.  It's just so wrong and yet so right.  (sigh) 

It's Friday!  I'm happy. 

Just thought I'd share.

Warning:  Those that you that would like to avoid the long and slightly disjointed thoughts of a lunatic, turn away now.  You're been warned... no whining about it later if you end up with a headache or the urge to bang your head on the nearest wall somewhere to your left.  Other wise....( read on )

Okay, so for weeks/months/years now I've been wanting to move out of my parents' house and into a place of my own... I was going to grow up and be independant and free from heavy burdons of being a good chinese daughter living under her parents' roof.  And now, I've gotten an apartment, I've got a roommate, I've got furnitures and I've got neighers... and I've got major butterflies in my stomach at the thought of actually moving out. 

Oh... I know, I know, you all think I'm crazy and that (according to others) this is normal and I wouldn't worry about being worried... but I am.  And I will continue to be.  But I  also know that everything will be all right and everything will be great eventually and that I will love this experience.  I just wish we can get to that part a little faster and bypass the part where I'm going cry and ask my mom if I can move back in cause I don't want to do this! 

(sigh)  Okay, I really ought to get back to the grown up part of my life and do some work... and earn my damn paycheck. 

Done venting... on with life.